The New Normal
by Matt Jerome Marshall
Summary: A collection of one shots inspired by Dr. Cormier's last diary entry "Perhaps we might even be able to bring a life of our own into the world".
1. Chapter 1

**Notes** : I do not own Orphan Black characters. The quote in the summary is taken from the _Orphan Black Classified Clone report_.

There had been more challenges in Cosima's life than she cared to admit: more hardships, betrayals and near death experiences than most people her age had experienced and yet she had rarely felt so alone and unable to rationalize the thoughts running through her mind. Autumn was leaving its place to Winter and the night air was chilly as she sat in the garden, blowing puffs of vapor that quickly dissolved around her. She craved a joint but she had promised herself to stay clear of them at least for a while. Her mind was buzzing with fear and questions that had been plaguing her for months and that now were more persistent than ever. Since Neolution had been defeated, everything had changed for the LEDA sisters and the new normal took some time to adjust to, especially with the novelties it had brought along for Cosima and Delphine. She didn't hear the quiet footsteps approaching, nor the back door closing. Slender arms wrapped around her neck and she smiled upon recognizing Delphine.

"Its cold, you shouldn't be out here."

"I'm going to sleep, are you coming?"

"Later."

A trail of feathered kisses was placed on the nape of her neck and Cosima couldn't help the shiver of contentment that ran down her spine. Had it been any other moment, the sensation would have made her chuckle but this time, her expression remained unchanged. Delphine's lips trailed along her shoulder, then climbed back along the curve of her neck in an affectionate action and the tension that contracted the LEDA's muscles didn't escape her attention.

" _Chérie_ , what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, talk to me."

Cosima sighed and turned around.

"Okay, fine, I'm worried about the baby. What if I'm not a good parent? I'm not all maternal and protective like you."

She had never been maternal. She liked children and enjoyed spending time with Kira and Helena's twins but mostly because they weren't hers and in Kira's case, were old enough to interact a little more maturely with. With them, she could make experiments, read stories or explain about science and they would listen, with babies…she had no idea what to do with a little being that cried all the time and demanded worrying amounts of attention.

"Cosima, you will make a wonderful mother."

"But what if I screw the kid up?"

Delphine pressed a kiss to Cosima's hand.

"We won't. We'll figure it out between the two of us and if Sarah and Helena managed so will we."

A slight smile tugged at the corners of Cosima's lips. Delphine had a point. Kira had turned out just fine in despite of the continuous travels and Sarah's frequent absences, and the twins were leading a normal healthy life even though their mother was notoriously unstable. Parenthood changed people. Sarah had changed, Helena had changed…perhaps they would too. Delphine's hand closed around hers and led them both to rest on the swell of her stomach and a tiny foot came to press against Cosima's palm. From a purely scientific perspective, Cosima knew all about a child's conception, gestation and birth but having that tiny, little foot kicking at her hand was something else entirely…something that left her amazed and awed at the miracle of life and took her breath away. It was beautiful and surprising and just so…surreal!

"I'll figure it out little guy. I promise. We'll take good care of you."

She murmured. Delphine smiled and rested her forehead against Cosima's tenderly.

"I love you."

" _Moi aussi."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Note:** Apologies for any eventual mistakes. 

The waiting room was silent aside from the monotonous tick tock of the clock on the wall and the echoes of Cosima's agitated footsteps clicking on the ground. Everything was sterile and cold, bathed in a whiteness that would never cease to bother the young woman. Cosima paced up and down the room, toying compulsively with one of her dreadlocks as she gained speed and nervousness. The wait was killing her and the lack of news was wrecking her nerves as she glanced down the corridor at the door where Delphine and the doctors had disappeared over an hour before. How bloody long was it going to take? Shouldn't she be out by now? And why was nobody giving her news? Had something gone wrong? The though stuck at the back of her head as if branded into her grey matter and prompted her to think about every dramatic scenario that could occur. Everything that had happened in the past year, with DYAD prosecuting the LEDA clones, their trip to Revival and all the other extreme events Delphine and Cosima had found themselves in had made the spectacled scientist develop a constant, obsessive fear of losing those she loved with Delphine being at the top of her list. In moments like this, it became stronger than ever. By the time a nurse reached her, she thought she might actually go crazy with impatience.

"The procedure is over. You can come in."

The nurse -a young woman with a kind visage- was smiling as she led Cosima in the operating room and the gesture told the LEDA sister that everything was fine. She wished she had time to prepare herself for what she was about to see, think about what to say, research what do to but she had had no time to do such things and found herself overwhelmed.

" _Bonjour ma chérie_ "

Cosima pressed a kiss to Delphine's forehead. The blonde doctor looked exhausted but happiness lit up her visage making her hazel eyes shine and a genuine content smile play on her lips.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tiered but fine."

There was a speechless, marveled silence when their gazes dropped down to the small bundle of blankets Delphine held in her arms, resting against her chest. Curious hazel eyes stared back at them as tiny fingers extended towards Cosima. Surprise, disbelief, amazement and a deeply unconditional love washed over the clone as she finally absorbed the knowledge that she was a parent. They had created a little human being. They had created life (with a little help from science).

"He's so cute"

Whatever fear Cosima had harbored for the past nine months had momentarily disappeared, washed away by joy. She glanced at Delphine who looked just as smitten and felt suddenly overcome by the love she felt for the French doctor. Yes, their relationship had started off with a lie and there had been more ups and down in their love life than in a rollercoaster but they had come out on top and Cosima didn't think she could ever love someone as much as she did Delphine.

"I'm going to keep you safe little guy. I promise you'll never have to live what we've gone through."

Matty (they had decided the name ages ago) would never have to hide from DYAD or be brought in for medicals tests. He would never be persecuted for what he was, nor for his biology. He wasn't going to be exploited. He wasn't going to be anyone's property. Cosima and Delphine were going to make sure of tha. t


	3. Chapter 3

A high pitched desperate wail shredded the night's silence and echoed off the apartment's walls, plucking Cosima from her dreamless sleep. She opened her eyes with a groan and squinted, struggling to put things into focus without her glasses. Delphine's arm rested across her stomach and she carefully slid out of the blonde's embrace, eliciting a groan of protest at the sudden loss of contact. She stood up, fighting against the chilly air of the room as she made her way out but her attempts to be quiet were cut short when she knocked her hip into a chair and cursed beneath her breath.

"Cosima, what are you doing?"

Delphine's accent had become more pronounced, strengthened by her sleepy grogginess and the dreadlocked LEDA saw her sitting up in bed, still only partially awake as she followed Cosima who limped across the room.

"Go back to sleep. Its fine."

She disappeared down the hallway and shivered as she pulled her pajama top tighter around herself. The wails grew louder and inconsolable and didn't subsist when Cosima reached the room they came from. She leaned over the crib to pick up a small, crying bundle of blankets. Matty waved his tiny fists in the air as he bawled and sobbed, opening his toothless mouth incredibly wide for such a tiny human being as he succeeded in latching onto his mother's shirt. Cosima pulled him to her chest gently. She was just as frightened of hurting him as she had been of hurting Helena's twins two years before but the uneasiness was gradually fading and she was starting to find her footing when it came to taking care of the child. She picked up his pacifier but he threw it on the floor.

"Okay, no pacifier it is. What's wrong little guy?"

He wasn't teething, he didn't appear to be sick and he had eaten no more than an hour before, so what was wrong? She made a shushing sound as she lulled him but the newborn refused to calm down so she opted to take him for a stroll to the room she shared with Delphine.

"It's all all right Matty. I'm here now, Its okay."

She murmured. He felt fragile in her arms and she handled him with worried carefulness in the same way you would handle something easily breakable. She couldn't differ more from Delphine in that sense, the French woman was much more at ease with the child than she was and took care of him with that maternal aura Cosima still lacked.

"What's wrong?"

"No idea. He's not sick, his nappy is clean and he doesn't want his pacifier"

There was a dip in the bed when Cosima sat back on it and handed Matty to Delphine. The baby's crying turned into a series of hiccupping sounds as he placed his tiny hands against her chest.

"He's just hungry Cosima."

"How can he be hungry again? How much does he eat?!"

Delphine chuckled and lifted her shirt enough for Matty to latch on to her nipple. Cosima couldn't help but think that children were a bizarre, unexplainable thing. The two of them hadn't slept in a month (and according to Sarah and Helena, they weren't going to get rest anytime soon), they were exhausted already and in despite of the cuteness and overall adorableness the baby had, there were times where Cosima wondered why they had wanted to have a kid in the first place. He cried, ate at impossible hours and drove them crazy but nonetheless, the love both woman felt for Matty was infinite. In moments like this, when they were all reunited and a warm tenderness fell on the room Cosima was truly happy. She casted a look over Delphine whose features had softened in an enraptured expression, then pressed a kiss to her hair.

"He's perfect."

"No, he would be perfect if he slept through the night."

Delphine smiled at the clone's words.

"You're not the one feeding him every six hours. You don't get to complain Cosima."

The words were playful and the dreadlocked scientist knew not to take it personally. Initially she had thought Matty's arrival might strain their relationship but for the time being there hadn't been too many arguments and their roles were fairly well balanced. Of course she knew better than to think this peace would last, the lack of sleep was bound to make them irritable and prompt disagreements, but she also knew that Delphine and her would get through it. The newborn fell asleep shortly after in Delphine's arms, satiated and content and for a long moment Cosima stood watch over both of them, memorizing every tiny detail, every feature, every gesture. She felt at peace both with herself and the world and for a few blissful instants, she forgot everything else: DYAD, her fears, her tiredness. Only her family mattered and she would do everything in her power to take care of them.


End file.
